Commitments can be intimidating. It requires showing up consistently, giving 100% effort, and investing emotionally. Or in better terms, I found the following definition from Urban Dictionary. I think you will agree it sums up commitment well:
Commitment is what
Transforms the promise into reality.
It is the words that speak
Boldly of your intentions.
And the actions which speak
Louder than the words.
It is making the time
When there is none.
Coming through time
After time after time,
Year after year after year.
Commitment is the stuff
Character is made of;
The power to change
The face of things.
It is the daily triumph
Of integrity over skepticism.
If I commit to something, I give everything I have. As a result, I am hesitant to commit to a lot of things at once. I have a tendency to see things as black and white, all or nothing, hot or cold.
I'm fairly certain you see where this is headed. This relationship with volleyball I had was a commitment. The kind perfectly described above. One that I devoted my life to. One that I never stopped pursuing. And, one that treated me very well up until 3 years ago.
It all started with the idea of playing overseas upon graduation ('05). To get things going, I contacted an organization that focuses on placing VB players into a professional career after completing their collegiate careers. I then went on a 10 day trip (through the same organization) to Spain in the Spring ('06). It was a "taste" of what playing professional VB would be like. We traveled, tried different foods, engaged in the culture, practiced in a variety of gyms, and played matches against teams all over the country. Some players were even recruited right then and there to play on a team the next season. By the end of the trip I was set on the idea of making this adventure happen....and hopefully in Spain, I thought....I can picture myself here. After all, I DID take two years of Spanish in high school.
So, I worked extremely hard all summer to get into top physical shape. I ran hills (lots of them). I did some serious sweating in the weight room (and if you know me, you know I sweat a lot). I found empty gyms wherever I could to do some ball handling. I even practiced a few times with my Alma mater. And then I waited. Waited for a phone call.
During all of this I was also coaching the most amazing club team I have ever been a part of. There were 9 girls on this 17's team, and wow, were they somethin'. I think we won almost every match we played that season, made it to Nationals in Atlanta and placed 5th overall. It definitely was a boost of confidence as a coach. I'll be honest though I didn't have to do much. These girls were good enough on their own. I think a 5th grader could have coached them and they STILL would have killed everyone who crossed their path. Anyway, it was literally the day after I returned from Nationals (July 5th, '06), with plaque in hand, I temporarily forgot about my dream to play in Spain. Then, my phone rang...
"Hello?"
"Really?!"
"Wait...where?"
"Maribor, SLOVENIA?? Where is that?!?"
"No, sounds great...uh huh...ok...sure...we'll see you then!"
A few weeks later I was set to fly out in August to meet up with several other players from the states hoping to fulfill the same dream I had....to hang on to every last bit of their VB career that they could.
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I should also mention how extremely supportive Greg was in ALL of this. He was hesitant in the beginning, but wanted me to fully embrace this opportunity. As young newlyweds (only married for 1 year at this point in the story), I was (and still am) so grateful for a husband who insists that I pursue my dreams. And on top of it, he was able to be with me for {most of} the 9 months that we lived overseas. We also owe a lot to Greg's family business for "letting" him go, and offering him a job upon returning. What a supportive family we have; we are eternally grateful.