It's time to record what has taken place over the past four days. If you follow me on FB, then you know we have been knee-deep in potty training over here!
Kensie's potty journey began
HERE. (It's important that you read that post first)
Since then, it's been four months of pretty much no potty progress. She went back to crying at the first mention of the potty, refused to sit if I suggested, and just did not want anything to do with it. So I took some advice and backed off. And by "backing off" I mean, I stopped asking her to actually sit on the potty. But I didn't stop talking about the potty...ie: "When you are ready to use the potty all the time, we can sign up for gymnastics Kensie! You could tell your friends what a BIG girl you are! When you want to start you just tell mommy, okay?" I wasn't always super positive though. There were definitely times when I was very negative. When I was at my peak of changing diapers all day, I would sometimes complain about having to change her diaper, and she could totally sense my frustration. My negative attitude coupled with my refusal to pray about it either was all in all--not helpful. That's not something I am proud to share but it's true.
But anyway, four months later and she finally said OKAY! Let's do this thing! (Not exactly her words, just my interpretation)
Last Friday night I was cleaning out Kensie's closet and somehow we got to talking about the diapers in her basket on the bookshelf. She wanted to start cleaning them up and the next thing I knew, she was so excited to bag them up and give ALL her diapers to Mason! We had repeatedly discussed this scenario over the last month. I got the idea from
THIS BLOG. I knew there was no point in pushing it unless she really wanted to do it. But while we were bagging them up together that night, she kept exclaiming,
"I so excited to start potty training tomorrow Mama! I gonna be a BIG GIIIIRL!!" I kept asking her if she was absolutely sure she wanted to commit to this. There's NO GOING BACK, know what I mean? She said yes over and over....
So we made Mason a quick card, stapled it to the trash bag full of diapers, and put it in his room.
Thus began our journey...
Before bed that night, we filled her basket with undies (the same basket that held her diapers). She was so excited as she climbed into bed.
Then we prayed. We prayed out loud together, taking turns. We prayed passionately and excitedly. Thanking God for the desire he put in Kensie, and asking Jesus to help us be strong and patient for the journey ahead of us. (That last part was mostly for me).
DAY 1:
I had a whole container of dollar store potty prizes all ready to go from about three months ago. Just sitting and waiting for the right time. So we dusted it off and placed it right on the counter in the bathroom (where she could easily see them). We took her last diaper off and put a fresh new pair of undies on and I let her pick out a dress--making it much easier for potty training to get those undies off and on quickly.
Then reality set in. Kensie's excitement soon wore off the moment I asked her to sit for the first time. The whole morning was mostly spent in the bathroom with her crying and whimpering, and me reasoning and persuading. Thankfully Greg had the day off from work, so he came to rescue me in the bathroom when I couldn't reason with her anymore. He patiently sat with her and calmed her down until she finally peed for the first time!
The crying and resistance continued throughout the day, even though she was slowly racking up some pretty awesome potty prizes! It was clear that she still didn't really want to follow through when I asked her to sit. She literally cried every time. But the moment she would finally pee, she'd exclaim
"I did it! I'm a big girl!" Her whole persona changed immediately after.
During these moments of resistance, I was able to lovingly and calmly remind Kensie that she made the decision to do this. Not me. I think that was the biggest part of the whole process.
I kept having to remind her that she wanted to give Mason all her diapers, and she wanted to be a big girl, and she wanted to potty train. Once I kept repeating that I'm here to help her and to love her and to be patient with her, and that Jesus could make her strong and brave just like we had prayed the night before, she very slowly started to warm up to the idea that there was no going back.
I could see that it was starting to sink in: This was not something mom decided for me...this was my choice and mom is here to help me follow through with my decision.
She took an extra early nap that day (I put her in a pull-up). We were both exhausted!
DAY 2:
Greg took Mason to church so I could stay home and have some one-on-one training in the morning (SO HELPFUL). We made a potty chart for some extra motivation. I had a dress hiding in her closet that I was saving for a rainy day. She had received quite a few potty prizes for going pee, but there was still a fight leading up to it. So she needed motivation to do it with a cheerful heart.
I explained that if she sat on the potty the
first time I asked her to, and didn't cry about it, she could get a sticker. Didn't matter if anything came out or not. She simply could get a sticker for having a good attitude about it. If she fills the whole chart with stickers, she gets the dress. Pretty sweet deal, eh?
She accepted the potty chart plan and slowly racked up three stickers throughout the rest of Day 2. There was still crying, but a little less. Then she went #2 right before naptime, which gave her a huge boost of confidence! (And me!)
Put her to bed that night in a pull-up again.
DAY 3:
She knew the drill for the day but wasn't really excited about the whole potty thing until just before bedtime that night. We had our first "outside" visitor drop by to say hi quick. Our visitor knew we were potty training and they brought a little gift for Kensie. As soon as we started chatting, Kensie piped up interrupting us,
"Mommy! I have to go potty!" (Up to this point she had taken zero initiative to tell me. It was always ME asking her to try). This was the first time she excitedly ran into the bathroom, did her thing, and happily asked if she could put a sticker on her chart to show our visitor.
I
was
blown
away.
 |
| This is me at the end of Day 3. Finally showered with make-up and some fun new jewelry. Potty training is stressful! I was a serious wreck for three days. I owed it to my husband to look nice for one night. |
DAY 4:
(Re-posting my FB status from today...b/c it sums it up pretty well)
Kensie has taken complete ownership. I had a friend over to visit just during naptime (okay more like my MK consultant who gave me a make-over...me time well spent in my opinion!). Anyway, while she was applying my make-up I heard Kensie go in the bathroom, use the potty, and flush the toilet....and then went back to bed. All by herself.
Are you kidding me?? Totally different child from the past 3 days. This is the first day she has not shed a single tear and is getting stickers like it's her job. She may be getting that dress sooner than we thought!
Can I get a Amen?!
And THAT my friends is potty training from the trenches.
For now, we are just focusing on day-time training. Pull-ups at naptime and bedtime. We'll see how the next several weeks go.
God gets all the glory for helping us get through this. It was such a beautiful way to introduce Kensie to our living God. We all know life only gets harder the older you get. But for that sweet little girl, that was the hardest time in her life thus far! And we were both able to cling to Jesus during it. That makes it totally worth it, right there.
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