Focus up Friday

It's been an emotional week over here. More on that in a minute....

I'm just popping in to say I've been trekking through the Proverbs 31 study and still going (kinda) strong! I'm so proud to say that even though I have missed a few days here and there, I've stuck with it and God is definitely teaching me A LOT.

Now for some random bullet points of my week (some related to the study and some are not). I'm not feeling very "eloquent" in my writing lately so bullets are what you get:

• I'm still struggling with the concept of vigorously cleaning my house. Living with an almost 3 year old and a 15 month old is exhausting. I don't need to re-hash exactly to what extent. It's just exhausting. And while I enjoy basking in my hard work of scrubbing my floors, putting the clutter away, making the bed, cleaning the bathroom.... I've also found this last week that I can become quite irritated by the end of the day as a result. If I find one dirty sock in the middle of the hallway, or a toilet that was left un-flushed, or a single dirty dish in the sink...after ALL MY GOSH DARN HARD WORK....well, husband/ kids...you better watch out. Crabby Shannon is gonna let you know it. But on the days when I only focus on laundry and dishes, and let the rest of the house kinda take it's "tornado-like" course, I rest much easier at night. Not sure where this is going. Just know, dear reader, that I'm struggling in this department. I want to honor God by working hard in the home, but I also want my sanity and my ability to love the people that live here too.

I spent one afternoon organizing my craft "crap hole". More on that later.
Something I've put off for at least 2-3 years.


• Mason got his first bloody nose this week. Kensie pushed his high chair over while he was still strapped in....and I lost it. I did not react well (unlike his last accident). I yelled at Kensie using phrases like, "What did you DO!"...."What were you THINKING!" My yelling combined with the large amounts of BLOOD streaming out of his nose made Kensie (and myself) a crying mess. I know accidents happen. I know you can't control them. But, it's easier to stay calm when there is no one else involved. Why on EARTH Kensie thought that was a good decision, I'll never know. But, it scared me to see how angry I got. I was able to talk with my mentor on the phone the next morning and felt reassured that my reaction was normal. However, there's still that moment when you need to ask for forgiveness. Forgiveness from my kids, and then from God. There was lots of praying the next day.

• Marriage is HARD for us. There's a million different reasons why marriage can be hard. This week it was scheduling. I had two nights in a row that I had to be somewhere at seven o'clock without kids. Between Greg working late every night, a last minute softball game, and a kid with a bloody nose, let's just say it was a stressful week! By ten o'clock each night, we were both finally in the same house together, exhausted, with nothing to say except "Goodnight". Most of my feelings toward Greg this week have been resentful, bitter, and just plain annoyed. Something else I need to still ask for forgiveness for. 

• Marriage is HARD for everyone. We all need to wake up and realize that it takes WORK to stay married to the same person for the rest of our lives. We have to be honest with our spouses, set appropriate boundaries with friends, and be willing to ask for help. Praying continually for our spouses doesn't hurt either. 

• I have a decision to make by this Sunday. God brought an opportunity to me a week ago. I have been weighing the pros and cons and asking God if this is the right timing for such an opportunity. I will share more next week once I make the decision. If you happen to think of me in the next two days, I would be SO incredibly grateful for some prayers. After the week I just had I feel like saying "ABSOLUTELY NOT!". But, I know that's just my emotions talking. I just want a clear answer from God--don't we ALL?

Have a great weekend everyone!